Landing - Meb
by Miracle Chasers on 03/29/16
In my backyard, for an unknown reason, I have a lot of hummingbirds. I don't have many flowers and I don't have a hummingbird feeder, so I can only guess that they nest around here somewhere close. Often, I have a hummingbird sighting. Even though it has become a regular occurrence, it's still exciting to see them fly by in a whiz, and then suddenly stop, wings beating at some 5,400 beats per minute, still flying but seemingly held in place, hovering in the air as if resting on God's invisible hand.
Living so close to nature as I do, on a rare occasion, I have seen these hummingbirds when they are not flying or hovering. Even hummingbirds pause on a branch or sit on the edge of the bird bath and splash water up onto themselves as if to take a spa break.
I truly appreciate the need to rest, if only for a moment, but like the hummingbird, you don't see me do this often. To be still, to stop the whizzing, and the beating of wings is hard for me. I have a tendency to believe that everything I do is truly "My Job" in the world, and what I do, I do best. And because I have so many interests, I want to do everything!
Have you ever noticed that the really smart birds agree with you when you take on their responsibility? There are many people in the Wild Kingdom of your life who will be happy for you to take on their job too. They tell you that you are the only person who can do whatever it is they want you to do that actually they should be doing. I also have a tendency to believe that what I decide to focus on as important, IS actually important. My adult children have helped me identify this hovering trait: they've told me that sometimes, what I thought was so important, what I thought was SO necessary, was in fact, not that at all. The cookies I baked from scratch, really could have been store bought when I was in that pinch. The minutes I took at the meeting and then laboriously retyped could have remained handwritten. While birds can't decide to slow down while they are out flying, humans can.
When I finally let myself slow down, I notice that I haven't really stopped - like right now as I write this blog or when I garden, both of which I love to do. I want to be able to do these things just for the joy of doing them, but there is this old and recalcitrant part of me that has to remind myself that even though I enjoy this, the activity must have some value outside of my own joy for it to "count" towards the measure of my life. In telling myself I can't slow down, I keep myself from flying.
So many women I know, including myself, have whizzed through life, working 23/7 and some because of the capacity of bi-coastal flights and living, even cram 27 (or more) hours into every day! Even when on vacation, itineraries match the pace of non-vacation days as we plan to drink in every possible moment and experience. I know I did that on my trip to Ireland with my kids; we had so many things to see in such a short time and so few moments to just sit and enjoy the scenery. It literally flew by.
I ask myself why do I love rainy days that force me inside to putter about? Why do I long for a Sunday morning to myself? In my mind at least, there is such an incredible emphasis in this world on productivity and doing as a measure of achievement and joy.
Did you know that hummingbirds are the only birds in the world that can fly backwards? While I am sure there is a natural reason for this, I know there is a metaphor here somewhere. Maybe hummingbirds know that if you fly fast in one direction without much of a pause (reflection) you are bound to have to reverse course. And while I know that some birds can sing when flying, most sing when perched. Maybe they know that when they stop and sing, their song goes farther. I like to think that their song is also sweeter that way.
As I write this, it is the first day of Spring: the Equinox. Ancient cultures took this day off to celebrate the ending of the darkness and the coming of the Light. It is a time of change and rebirth. A time to refocus, and to focus on what is important. At least for today, I promise myself to stop beating my wings and beating myself up and see what happens. (Meb)
